im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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