If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
