We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
