What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
