He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
