she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
