I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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