I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
