You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
