Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
