Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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