high people should be assigned attendants
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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