woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
