There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
