I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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