thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
