Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
