why didn't you poke me back
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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