Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
