I didn't shave. On purpose
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
