Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
