Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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