I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
