We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
