Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
