Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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