i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We are all done wearing pants today
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
