hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just want to make out with him forever
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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