it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
