Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
