You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
