After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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