I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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