i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
