The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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