Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
