i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
