I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
