Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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