We're facebook friends in real life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
