Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
