i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
