I want to make a zoo with you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
