i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
