question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
