I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
