Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
