I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
