Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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