I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
