oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
