Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
