Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
