you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
