I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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