Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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