How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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