the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize