But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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