dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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