Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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