Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
